OMg

"Ommmmm." silence. "Ommmmm." silence. "Ommmmm."
That last one's hum vibrated through the room.
It was hot. We were sardines in the square room. Mat, 4 inches, mat, 4 inches..."...."....wall.
We were just a few minutes in. I was already struggling.

I was at hot yoga with Cait and Mom.
It wasn't my first hot-class and by no means was it my first yoga session.
But, nonetheless, I was struggling.
For whatever reason, I just can not get into it. No matter how hard I try.
Is it a mind over matter thing that I just can't get past? -unable to stop my mind from wandering; unable to focus on my breath as I should be doing?

I've been to many many classes- some have definitely been better than others, but 90% of the time, I find myself more frustrated than peaceful, and more uncomfortable than relaxed. 

Om.

My mantra is often more along the lines of:
"Ommmmmggggg." "Ommmmmggggg." "Ommmmmggggg."

My thoughts, when actually thinking about yoga/what's going on at present (as opposed to wandering off) are often:

"Downward dog again? Seriously? Again? Can I just kill my shoulders now?"

"Headstand? Pshhh, yeah. I'll be right here in child's pose."

"Ugh, why did I put my mat next to this guy. Deodorant is necessary, people!"

"How many people have used this _____________ (block/mat/blanket/etc)?"

"Who the hell thought garlic was a good idea last night?"

"I don't think my hair can get any more frizzy."

"How has it only been 20 minutes?"

"You want me to do what? Is that physically possible?

"Warrior 1, Warrior 2, War -e- errrrr, how bout no more"

"Owww."

I could go on and on...

Seriously, though, what the heck!?
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother going. But then again, I guess that those thoughts make an even stronger case on why I should be going. Being in the present more; challenging myself physically and mentally; focusing my thoughts - these apparently are all things I need to work on.

So I will continue to go. And struggle. And hate on all things downward dog-ish.
And hopefully I'll improve. And start to enjoy it. And think a little less and relax a little more.
The major goal? - dropping that "g" in my om mantra.*

And having my experience go more like this:

As opposed to this:

Have you done yoga? - What are your thoughts?

xo Belle

*Slight confession: I never actually chant the "om." Maybe that's part of my problem!